Gloria and I met in October of 1976. By Christmas we were basically a couple. We celebrated our first Valentine’s Day together in February of 1977, going out for dinner and enjoying a romantic evening. Without any kind of verbal commitment, the “basically” was gone; we were a couple. From then on, Valentine’s Day was our biggest holiday, the day we celebrated our love.
Gloria’s work took her to Alitak Cannery, located on Lazy Bay, at the southern tip of Kodiak Island, Alaska, over ninety miles southwest of Kodiak. To get there, you either flew in a World War II–era eight-passenger Grumman G-21 Goose amphibious airplane or took a boat. The fish processing plant was self-contained, meaning all employees lived there for the season. They ate in the mess hall and shopped for essentials at the small company store. The only connections to the outside world were by mail and a ship-to-shore radio for emergencies. The only radio station available was Radio Rossii (Russia Public Radio), which played nothing but classical music and propaganda.
Three months after that first Valentine’s Day, Gloria left for Alitak, to return home the last week of September. This was her fifth year of this routine. The four previous years, whatever boyfriend she had in May exited stage left when they found out she would be gone for approximately five months. I was the first to take her to the airport and pick her up when she returned.
For the next six years, we spent seven months together and five months apart. The Grumman Goose delivered my love letters three times a week; I looked up a florist in Kodiak and called to see if I could send flowers, too. Apparently, this was the first request of its kind.
“Um, let me check,” the florist said. She called me back a short while later. “Kodiak Airways can deliver flowers with the mail delivery,” she told me. “What kind of bouquet do you want?”
“One yellow rosebud,” I replied.
“You know, the delivery charge will be same for one rose as it is for two dozen.”
“One rose says, ‘I love you’ more than two dozen” was my reply. “How would you like me to pay for it?”
“Anyone that romantic, I trust. You can open an account.”
Gloria’s homecoming was like a honeymoon, with Valentine’s Day as the crescendo. It became our favorite holiday, a day to exchange cards and relive the high points of the year, to celebrate our love for each other. In our forty years together, we never missed exchanging cards—except the year that Gloria passed away.
She had been bedridden since the end of January 2017. We spent all of Valentine’s Day in each other’s arms. That was all I wanted—to be close to her, to hold her, to tell her how much I loved her as her body grew weaker.
It’s been four years since my beloved Gloria died, four years since I celebrated Valentine’s Day. I think of her not just on our holiday but every day. She was a kind, intelligent, generous person, with a beautiful heart, a contagious laugh, and dedication to making the world a better place. I can say for certain that she made me a better person. She was the love of my life.
This Valentine’s Day of 2021, I decided to work on my income tax return. It had been almost an entire year of COVID isolation, and I had nothing else to do.
Plugging numbers into the calculator, I discovered that it needed a new ribbon. Gloria always kept a backup, but I could not find one in any of the usual drawers. The only drawer I hadn’t looked in—the only drawer I hadn’t opened in almost four years—was Gloria’s private drawer, where she kept her journals and other notes to herself.
Now or never, I thought. I opened the drawer slowly, as if she would walk in at any moment and catch me in the act. There, instead of a new ribbon, I found a beautiful valentine that Gloria had written to me but had never given. Though it doesn’t have a date, it must have been for the Valentine’s Day before she passed on, because it was the only one she ever missed.